While most people have tried to comfort Chrissy through their comments, there were some who criticised her ‘for being so open about her loss’ simply highlighting the stigma that surrounds talks concerning pregnancy loss.
Miscarriages are a painful reality, something that is not talked about openly. Such is the stigma around it that even in TV shows and movies, it is treated like a painful episode that the mother-to-be and her family forgets within a day or two. Some would argue, “It was an unborn child. There could not have been any real attachment to someone who is not even fully formed.”
Little do people realise that the moment a mother conceives, she also starts planning her life around the little one. She plans and dreams about what the future will hold and how she will set up the nursery or get the newborn the car seat that she saw at a shop. They look forward to appointments when they will hear the little one’s heartbeat and also give him a nickname! For expecting mothers, the child is a person and not a ‘growing embryo’. Someone who is loved immensely while he is resting inside his mother’s womb and who will change their world after coming into their lives post delivery.
Sadly, no one ever talks about how horrifically traumatizing it can be for the mother and even the dad to keep their pain to themselves because the society doesn’t allow them to feel entitled to talk about the pain like people talk about losing a loved one. And so the day you miscarry, you are expected to just forget and move on.
It needs to be understood that miscarriage is a common human experience, yet the women who experience it feel isolated and alone. As per the data available, 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Furthermore, there is a lot of mystery around miscarriages where women don’t know what caused the miscarriage.
While some choose to mourn the loss of their baby privately, there are others who would like to talk about it publicly. Regardless of what a couple decides to do, just remember there is no wrong way to react to this personal tragedy.